2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
