so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
