i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
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