i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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