Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
