dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
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