Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
