My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
