Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
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