oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Randomize
