Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Randomize
