i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
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