well you can't waste a boner
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
