i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
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