I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Randomize
