i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
