My Higher Power is John Stamos
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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