So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize