so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
You dont lie about slip and slides
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
