Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
