She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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