we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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