Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
