Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
