Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
