Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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