All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
he shaved USA in his pubs
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
