Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I need a burrito and a hug.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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