So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Randomize
