So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
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