No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
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