Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Randomize
