There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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