He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Randomize
