is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
