I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
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