haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
