best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
We have started to decorate penises.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I think we might need a safe word for this...
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
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