Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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