Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Randomize
