..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
