We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
