There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
