..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
