I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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