Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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