a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
