at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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