There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
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