Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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