I puked a lego.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
