I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
you will always have a special place in my vag
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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