i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Randomize