I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize
