He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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