I hope mine doesn't look like that
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize