nut hugger
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
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