Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
